There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning

-Jesus Culture 2008

Looking back at my 17-year-old self, I can see the hope that I could not see while I sat in a frosted over car in the middle of January. I had fallen so far and it wasn’t the end of the trials I would face. From that moment I would face suicide thoughts and attempts, nightmares of the traumatic experience that had changed my life, depression and anxiety, trust issues, and my relationship with God was very rickety. I could not grasp why I had to go through what I did, but looking back I see the positive impact that something so negative has had on my life.

Today I am 21 years old, finishing college in the coming year, I am engaged to my wonderful fiancé, Andrew, and I have a better relationship with God. It wasn’t easy getting to this point, and every day is a battle against the depression and anxiety that tries to consume my life and probably many of your lives. What I realized is that we have to keep pushing forward, but still pausing to see the beauty in life and all of God’s creation. It’s not easy to push through everything that happens, but I realized that what had happened only would be a negativity in my life as long as I allowed it to be. From realizing this I have been able to reach out to others who dealt with a similar situation as me and have been able to be a positive example.

The example I choose to set daily is one of a positive image that no matter the situation we can find hope in the darkness. Even in moments where depression and anxiety plague our days, we can choose to be positive. That doesn’t mean that we push our feelings down or that it won’t be hard, but we can be positive in that we are alive and trying to do our best. Furthermore, my relationship with Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, I have realized there was a purpose for what I survived, and that it happened for a reason, and I can find hope in that one day it will work out for His good whether or not I see the outcome of the negative turning to a positive.

Thank you to all of you for reading this posts and the others that have been posted, as well as to my wonderful fiancé, Andrew, who runs this blog, as well as helped me through all of the many trials I face daily, and has allowed me to write a post to share a positive outlook on a negative situation.

-Jocelyn

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